The Toppest Tier~

My cat is sleeping on a paper bag aww he so hansom

Sun, 15 Nov 2009 15:37:24 GMT

SO. Since the last entry Ive become addicted to Monster Hunter Freedom Unite. Imagine that! People associate it right away to be some sort of Pokemon style game, and at first I was reluctant to accept it, because god damn seriously I have never gotten this fuckin mad at Pokemon, but truth is, yeah. It kind of is. You defeat them and capture them, and theres an extensive "Pokedex" of knowledge on each class and breed of monster. Sooo. Sure. Pokemon...ish.

Actually I really appreciate the fact that theres a japanese monster game that isnt made to pander to grade schoolers. I really like the designs in this game, and how seriously (and not seriously) it takes itself. I think its mostly Capcoms brilliant character development though.

Apparently this game is a pandemic in Japan still *_*

I am getting seriously. seriously. restless about my current status in life, and the only thing nudging me foward is money. Which isnt good and doesnt really solve anything. Just enhances it or prolongs dealing with what needs to be dealt with, but truth is, Ive hit a point where I can do well consistently and can rely on it until the season decides to change on that. I always feared it would, but after like 3 months of constant progress, Ive decided to get comfortable. just a liittle comfortable. Never taking for granted, thats for sure.

so. Restless. I think maybe its because its the holidays, and the holidays remind me of the high anxiety shit that gets on me, but really Ive felt like this before this season so I dont know. Ive realized Im a goal orientated person. Like I need a lot of short term goals. Long term ones are great, but not cutting it. What I didnt realize is HOW MUCH I need these short term goals. Even tiny things like conventions or trips, its not that they are goals its just small things to constantly look foward to. I always need that carrot dangling in front of me for some reason, without it I get really demotivated and in a serious slump

School, Japan, Work, Relationships Im at peace with alot of the experiences Ive taken from my past, even if they didnt work out. Well, the relationship one is a little different, but you know what I mean, something you really wanted to invest in and look foward to, but if it didnt work out, its not worth beating myself up over. Its not that I failed my "goal" but I still gained alot from trying to achieve it. So I think even if I have good long term goals for myself after learning from past experience, it the lack of things to look foward to in the immediate future that is really getting to me and ultimatley crapping over real progress in my life.

I hate to say it, but even if I am in a relationship with the best guy, Im getting really fustrated with the routine, and it makes me feel like a shit. Get a spine me! He has his own life, but unfortunately mine takes place on the internet, in Austin and in Japan. It sounds weird, but talking to my Japan friends, and even looking a scans of shit from CUTIE and Ranzuki just get me really invigorated in wanting to do things.
Its not even about where I want to be, city, country, whatever. Im happy as long as Im with People I adore and vice versa, but man shit like stupid gyaru mag scans, I love the accessories and colors and all that shit, even the monster designs in Monster Hunter... it makes me want to draw and paint, and take that trip to Seattle for that workshop Ive been putting off, like actually liking stuff, makes me want to do stuff! Pah!

Its just so fustrating, I dont want to say HE is holding me back, cause hes not, and he never would, but he really isnt one to actively support me either. Its hard assimilating your life to someone elses, but still have to find it 100 percent within whats still you to stay happy.

Blah I got a new car. Bekah, on the way back from Dallas the last time I stayed with you, it died on the freeway like 10 minutes north of Georgetown. Forever dead. Got a Saturn with 34k miles the next thursday tho. So all that work, POOF! gone! so fustrating!!! When I was getting registration for it though I almost.

ALMOST.

got custom plates!! I didnt because the bank account balance was stretchin thin after the sudden expense of the car, and Id have to prorate like 3 months of registration or something like that....I was gonna go with:

MEWTWO -or- RAICHU -or- NARUTO (this is a joke, please for the love of god I want you to taste the irony and not mistake it for anything else I beg of u ppl)

but now considering

TIGREX
KHEZU
KUT KU

Im the baddest dude on the road B-)

Drunk Post??? nooo? yes..........?

Fri, 23 Oct 2009 08:36:11 GMT

noo Im no drunk driver. so no. Man i get so freaked out driving at night in Austin, i keep thinking a drunk driver is gonna get me, and when he does, Im gonna have a really weird song playing on my Mp3 player. And Im gonna die to a soundtrack. Like the Knights of Ramune opening or Midnight Blaze. well okay, I can deal with Midnight Blaze, dont give a fuk if the paramadics make a funny face trying to revive me to Midnight Blaze. thats THIER problem!!! But the Selena Gomez song from Hannah Montana (If cupid had a heart) oy. Dont think theres a clean way out of that one. Would I even be worth saving?

god I am shocked at how much japanese I still know sometimes. flexed it today. yeauh. its really ridiculous, Im looking into going back to my school for intensive JPLT cram studies, but its a saturday thing, spread across like 6 months so its obviously for people who are busy with other lives in japan. Im busy too. If looking at sparkly shit in the basement floor of Shibuya 109 counts. Yeah. word. WORD!! but seriously though, I loved my school very much and I already talked to the boyfriend about leaving for a cram session... its sad when i can afford tuition and boarding for this easier than a leisurely trip! shit is too expensive and the dollar is garbage over there. I will never be a Tourist in Japan will I? every time I show up its for the long haul lol.

GOOD!!!
Cause my cat is an asshole! I would like not too see his face for a while ugh. Look at this cumchugger of a cat.

now a palette cleanser, here have this cat looking all kawaii as fuck

I love black cats very much. they so hansum~~ (except mine! Bruce u are the worst! THE WORST!!)

the TV in the back is a cumchugger TV too. It weighs like 500 pounds. but its a good Bemani TV, so it stays. ugh. we dont even play bemani anymore. We are living a SHAM.

I really want Oden. Its the smelly stuff that they boil in conbinis in Japan. it looks really weird but it all tastes like scallops and magic.

I want to start drawing Pokemon commissions. yeah for money, and because i really enjoy drawing pokeymans. I should draw logan covered in Woopers. like American Beauty hahaa. he likes woopers way too much. I wonder if theres a pokedoll of him. I think he said he like espeon too...awww!!
My favs always change but I love Magikarp and Mew. Delaney thank you for hanging on to my Mew cup its like one of my most prized posessions ;o;!!
the other Tier of favorites consist of: Bulbasaur, Shinx, Shaymin, Slowpoke, Ponyta, Pikachu and Jolteon.

bidyo gamez.

Tubgirl

Tue, 13 Oct 2009 15:45:07 GMT

Bekahs bathtub is broken, the tub water wont drain. so we gotta take showers with maximum swiftness to make sure the water level doesnt start to spill over. I usually like to wait at least like 5 minutes or so for my conditioner to work work on my hair, but tensions were running high and the tub water didnt give a crap, so I was seriously considering dipping my head in the toilet and flushing multiple times.
I stood around with the water off for like 3 minutes instead, and now I wish I had just followed my heart. Dry brittle hair yall :(

hack the planet

Tue, 13 Oct 2009 14:32:31 GMT

So I was in the company of a guy that gets paid well to uh... write malicious code and test security breeches? He was invited to speak at Defcon,but his employer gave him a ಠ_ಠ face i guess? We befriended each other and then, later, he showed me his Goverment ID card, and turns out he is also a government contracted hacker on the side. And I was like woah! Cool! But now Im like... oooh nooo was that such a good idea? Giving him some of my online contact info. eeep!

If you're reading this I think you're really super rad but please use your powers for good!!

also, you are pretty. Too pretty. hmm...

TOO FAST TOO JUICY

Wed, 07 Oct 2009 23:55:54 GMT

Anatomy of a Hater?...??
Sometime this week, Pantsu and I got into it and he called me a "Hater" in a fashion meant to take a dig at me or call me out, however knowing that in our past convos I have professed myself as a hater already I simply owned it and moved on.
But I really started to think about what that word meant to me upon trying to label toxic relationships in my past.
I consider my mother a hater not because she is actively jealous or full of scathing remarks per se, but because she is so bitter from her past that she cannot relate with someone who wont indulge her misery. I consider another female im connected to a hater in the same sense, she needs someone to indulge her misery and bitterness; however in her case she does actively hate and is full of jealousy.
Thats what hating is to me, someone that feels like nothing is good enough, and cant see other people be successful. Mostly: You have to live your life equal to or below whatever standard they set up for themselves.
I gossip and have my opinion about people for thier choices, thier actions, but at the end of the day as people I wish them sucess in whatever they ultimatley want to do. Gossiping isnt hating, its having a worthless opinion via idle chatter. I really do not feel threatened by the presence of anybody to the point I have to truly go into an offensive mode. So why i on earth do I casually label myself as something I truly fucking detest? I think I may do it because Im afraid my personality comes off as very abraisive so its easy to just selfdeprecate it with that label. I really shouldnt though, I know Im not like that.

Also, I can go into petty offensive mode, but its usually a bunch of cheapshots I do for fun. Shit its more like a "defensive" mode, because I only do it once its been done to me. I mean, for example, Im aware this one dude used to talk smack about my nose and breasts, avoid me like hella, to feel superior or something (I never really knew the guy), but now he gives me these big smiles and "heeeyss!" when he sees me. I mean who does that? Dude I got your game. We get along and that crap is in the past, but he took it there and that gives me permission to remember that he has his own encyclopedia dramatica entry and laugh about the mutual friend messes from days past~
I can move on, but i have to admit it is is pretty hard to forget, because like i said, it makes me feel like I have a permit to take a bunch of worthless cheapshots and not feel bad, because a real foundation of trust is already competley absent from my connection to said mark, and mark probably knows shit about me.

Man what a rant. I was watching some show on MTV about strict parents and this one family removed the door to thier childrens room. Ugh, for some reason that feels like such a violation. You have a problem about locks and closed doors get the kid a doorknob where you have copy to the key. I had my doorknob removed when I lived in my old house growing up shortly after puberty and I hated it. It was removed after a spat too. Like what an obsessive display of dominance over anybody, I cant place my finger on it. it just feels gross. But whats weird, is that while I was watching it happen to that boy, I was like "Man I wish i was a boy", because then I would just masturbate all day in front of the open door in protest. Teenage boys probably arent that comfortable with thier sexuality, but man I would be so mad about having my door completely removed from the doorframe I would just not give a fuck. You want to completely rape someone of thier privacy you should be ready to get whatever dumb confidential crap that person may want to do in front of you now.

On september 11th there was a rave at some place in Denton called "Moment of Stylence".. I am in awe of the sheer brilliance in that pun but feel kind of guilty too. ugh. I have to steal that sometime though. UUGH. Never forget....

At the library I saw a Relationship advice book called. "How to Duck a Sucka" and I read it as "How to Suck a Dick". I did a double take and then was amazed at how quickly my MO is rotting away.

Im kind of upset about the last spat Pants and I got into, usually we get out of them and move on, and we did but I dunno. I think i have PTSD when it comes to altercations, I am so non confrontational. We can go back and forth, but for the first time I was actually at my keyboard like.. "what.. what the fuck" just really at a loss for words and confused while he just went at it. I hate that feeling, its not like Im holding a grudge, but its more like I feel like a cold wet dog or something, or like a deer in headlights. I dont know. and I have no other way to say it except in a livejournal entry, so pantsu I dont want to avoid you but i probably am, and Im sorry, and its not because of your personal problems ( even though I wish i could say more engaging and unique things than, " i know what youre going through" and that time really does heal things) but because I just felt shitty about how that squabble went.

Whitney Houston is so cool. Too bad shes replaced her legendary range with weird improvisations in her songs, cause the truth is shes just not the Whitney from 15 years ago anymore :(

I think the guy who hosts Web Soup is mad cute. I want him and Joel McHale to just make out and be covered all over in their own soup. heh. HEH.

I bought a canvas not that long ago. Its a big one too. Why does actually buying the paint feel like such a scary daunting task? I want to get into acrylics, (Even though Im more experienced with the feel of watercolors!). I think its because all the mediums available vary so fucking much omg. Also I need to get into the habit of drawing out my ideas, and buying more canvases, treating this lone canvas like a oneshot makes me feel much more pressed to make sure I dont regret what I do to it . Especially since drying time for acrylics is shorter too! Less Room for error 9n9!!

Trying to figure out where to travel for funz before the end of the year. I could probably save up enough money for another trip to Japan, probably in January, but the exchange rate is PURE SHIT NOW OMG FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (89 yen to the dollar!!! I was there back when I got like 120 yen to the dollar and it owned. alot. ) But Im torn between East coast freinds and West coast Bay Area friends. After my first trip to NYC and Boston, I kept saying that Id be back cause they owned, and, embarassing secret: Had I known New Jersey was right across the street from NYC I would of bothered my old oekaki head bitch Karn! But i didnt because being from Houston and not knowing much about local geography I had no idea where shit went in the upper east coast *o* My bad!~
My bay area friends though are osum too, and we roll and eat really good local japanese and korean food. But Flying back on a comedown feels awful :(. But shit I dunno I might roll at both for all it matters.

The current Yaoi fandom shipping status for me as of recently is Megaman X and Zero. Feeling Classically Creepy!

I bought Megaman 8 on a whim too, about a month ago. Man I fucking hate that SLIDE JUMP JUMP JUMP SLIDE SLIDE JUMP shit. The voice acting for all the bosses is so funny though. Astroman sounds like he kind of likes the pain and is begging for it and it makes me feel uncomfortable.

Let me get a piece of that action Fox

Fri, 11 Sep 2009 04:08:52 GMT

I waxed my Bikini Line, I hate doing it, but man the Sally Hansen prewaxed strips work well... Armpits and legs? Not so much, but the Bikini line is compliant for some reason. Before I started tearing away, I loaded up Scarface OST "Push it to the Limit". Dont need any numbing lotion or anethesia. Just a Scarface Soundtrack and a BADITTUDE

Looked up the prices of Hermes bags. Jesus Mary and Joseph these are the most expensive things I have ever seen. 16k for a plain leather bag with an H on it. I mean I understand handbag status culture and all that, but I really didnt know. I DIDNT KNOW. I'll stick to loving Louis Vuittons from a Distance... Louischan ;v;

You Know, for as much flack Abercrombie &Fitch get for introducing surfer preppy clothing and silly ad campaigns, Hollister as well, when you walk through their store floors, the Mannequins ALWAYS look really good. I cant say Ive actually seen one person IRL wear the clothes like that. They layered it up really really cute or SOMETHING.
If the store wants you to wear the clothes the way they display them, Ill give it to them. They really do make good fashion. Ive always liked A&F, waaaay too expensive for me to get committed, but whenever I walk past the storefront they are always bumping good dance music. Hell yeah ill listen to some Moonlight Shadow at the mall 8-)

Been going on a Calpico drinking binge. Was planning on drinking Calpis Sours all weekend (Calpis+Vodka) but I devised a brilliant plan where I would use grape vodka so it would be just like the Grape flavor Calpis drink I loved so dearly back in Nippan. WELL IT DOESNT WORK THAT WAY BECAUSE TO MAKE SOURS TURNS OUT YOU NEED THE CALPIS CONCENTRATE, NOT THE ACTUAL DRINK. So I got shafted with three 50 ounce bottles of Calpis (i was gonna drink ALOT I really thought this would work) and I gotta say, its pretty awesome drinking this much Calpico. Usually I drink the small 12 oz bottles and when Im done its like, "okay.. Magical adventure over" but with these big ass bottles its like it never has to end. And when I cleaned those bottles out I went back and bought some more. What a perfect fucking drink. seriously. I tried to take one into the shower but Logan said no. What an Asshole.

I am addicted to this song from Starfox64
Its the menu select song. It moves me very much for some reason, its like floating or being weightless, and that feeling of knowing someone somewhere is thinking about you very much. From the god damn Barrel Roll game. ugh. LOVE IT.

Got into a debate with the boy that Pokemon Gold was the equivalent to Red. He insists Silver was the "Red" of that generation.
I think he is out of his damn mind this is a no brainer. Ive always interpreted the family to go like this.

Red.Gold.Ruby.Diamond.
Blue.Silver.Sapphire.Pearl.

He says Ho-Oh was the gay one and Lugia was the cool one for boys. Well yeah they are both hella cool, but come on Ho-Oh was the hyper secret legendary Ash saw in the first episode of Pokemon. He was shrouded in Mystery for like 2 years! and Gold is not girly, Gold is regal and expensive!

Zero is going to be in the American version of Tatsunoko vs. Capcom. I did some looking and i think its going to be Battle network Zero. UGH. I was hoping for classic super BUFF Green titty Zero ;o;. Seriously he is one of my favorite characters of all time. I was sad BN Zero was in SvC Chaos.But my Dream Team of Rockman Dash and Classic Zero? Flipping out. I love it. Sadly looks like it will not be the case :(

Man it is hard as hell to find the Porno pics of Tila Tequila. Its amazing actually, its like her nudie model days never existed.

HOLD ON TO YOUR BUTTS

Tue, 25 Aug 2009 23:10:39 GMT

I want to go to Universal Studios and go on the Jurassic Park ride. Hella bad. First off, because its Jurassic Park and i wanna see the big wooden gates and hear the same voice actors who do the narrations from the first movie yaddayaddayadda, and second because I would like to flash the camera when the photo-op drop happens, and then proceed to buy the photo. Completely serious.

If Jurassic Park was real and my ass went to Isla Nublar and I went on thier rides, I would flash thier cameras too. And Im not flashy!! I deliberate long and hard a great deal when making very private decisions like this, and the jury is in. and Im looking at you, Stegosaurus.

I have fallen in love again with MegamanX4 opening. (FYI I do this every year)

Studying Kanji, surprised how much I get away with. Readthekanji.com is really fresh because my old Kanji workbooks in Japan almost looked the exact same way, the part i like the best are the example sentences because the difficulty level is just right for me. Pounce let me borrow a book that seems PERFECT for me, it says its for people who have 300 hours of formal training, and I thought, "Wtf thats me!!!" Sometimes I forget how much it really adds up, all those hours I spent in that classroom.
It kind of bums me out though, how this year has been, the book she let me borrow says Im intermediate based on my past, and you know it was something I would of never of considered calling myself.
A problem of mine was searching for learning materials just right for me, but if it wasnt beginner I wasnt sure i was "smart enough"... But the truth is I actually paid alot of dues already. I wish I had just continued as soon as I got back and didnt miss a beat because I thought I was stupid or something, thinking i was still a little baby beginner really did discourage me alot.

Here is a list of dirty words that are censored on PSP/Playstation3 AdHoc Party. Completely Serious.

bestiality
toss
hitler
fisting
viagra
condom
honkey
jugs
butts*
sex
nipple
pimp

*only plural butts. "Butt" is okay wtf

CATCH YOU CATCH YOU CATCH ME CATCH ME

Sun, 09 Aug 2009 23:10:02 GMT

If I was a Clow Card.

I would be Fly.

some dumb rambly shit... but its MY dumb rambly shit yall :D!!

Mon, 03 Aug 2009 04:44:06 GMT

I usually dont gush like this over mucisians. I like my Warp Records, and some Ed Banger here and there, and Video Game/Animu Music. But man Alan Braxe is my idol. His music is like. What I want to be. If my body were to be transmutated into audio, I hope I come out as something Alan Braxe would make. If it does not, Eurobeat would have to do as a distant second :I

Joel McHale is owning the fuck out of Wendy Williams, he kind of comboed it up on her. Thank you Joel. Love u.

I used to have a pet project that has been brewing again for the last 2 years. My main brain baby Ive had since I was like, 13. Used to go by Necromancer, now renamed "Romancer". When I got into my Video game and BTX friends, it just started to slip away, and concentrated on another brain baby, Shotgunners Paradise. I made a short comic of that one and while the concept is something that I am proud of, the execution was awful. I have no writing skills. I may be a well polished hack at art, but writing.. ugh.

Anyways, SP was something I was hella into for 3 years. But as I matured out of my teens, and learned to heal from things, SP just seemed to fade out completely. The characters from SP served only as tourniquets, weither or not i could of sat down and really loved writing and telling the story as much as I really wanted it to be seen as a great tragedy I dont think it was going to happen. Which is a shame, because it wasnt a bad story, I just dont know if I could execute it, It would require a collaboration with a writer that feels the plot more than I do, and make me excited to draw it.

Romancer started to slowly creep back up on me while SP was backing off, and it now is in my heart the same way it was almost 10 years ago. But its a good thing I took that break. I changed sooooooooo much between 16-22 and looking at my childhood creation with these new lenses makes me cringe at how bad some of my work was, but It feels like all my characters have been reborn and grown in some way the whole time as well. Im glad I know where my stregnths and weaknesses are, and how i would approach them. The writing thing is a big one though. I have hiiiiigh fuckin standards when it comes to webcomics.

There are talented people making comics, but Im not going to lie. I am dissapointed at what all the talented american art kids the last 10 years have been able to produce. In 10 years One Piece, Naruto, and Bleach have come out of nowhere and have established themselves as strong iconic franchises with over 300 chapters each. I cant think of anything the talented manga inspired generation from the USA has made that has had a similar effect or impact. And even if the artist is capable of executing it, theres always some bullshit idiot update release schedule.

1-3 pages a week? 1 graphic novel a year...or more? Hiatuses whenever you feel like it? I cant stand it. I really cant, even though its better than nothing, It has absolutley done no favors to the Amerimangaka (I dont know what to call it) community. Tokyopop really bungled it up too. I was HELLA excited that they were reaching out to american artists. I loved it. But no quality control or resect for the artists. Word on the street is that thier shitty decisions are finally catching up to them anyways. Tokyopop seems like the hot mess of the comic publishing world. remember back in the day when they douched the hell out of thier own magazine? anyways...

I would not release a webcomic because the schedule would probably not be very reliable knowing me. I would definatley opt to self publish, and release in 180-200 page tankoubons, every other month or 3 months. Every month would be osum but retardedly ambitious and unlikely lol! I would release 3 full volumes in the beginning, and then really concentrate on arcs, and art like CRAZY between releases. I dont even care if I profit, breaking even to make more is what would matter to me. Thats the edge I feel is missing from amerimangaka, longevity. Some bullshit mediocre moe harem shit from NIPPAN is expected to have a longer life than a decent series put out by an american Artist, so it never leaves its mark. If it breaks even for the first three volumes, It means people liked it enough to follow it which is enough to keep going from my POV.

Dramacon was great, but too short :< Svetlana is sooo talented!

I think slowly getting a good fanbase and establishing yourself as an artist that has enough confidence thier artwork to invest in it and charge for it, and release on time, is a huge gesture of respect for the fans. Its better than half assing a pipe dream and leaving your followers waiting all the while you get to roll around in thier loyal praises.

I hate to sound like JAPAN IS SO MUCH BETTER, but maybe the way they structured the comics industry is something some people need to try to emulate in some parts of thier ethic. They publish thousands of pages of new quality comics every week for kids, salarymen, teenagers, pervs, EVERYONE.. Its not rocket science, its art. Ugh, it makes me really want a good writer right now to work with. I feel like the Joe Jackson of gay American manga webcomics. Im the epitome of cool. obviously.

This episode of Roseanne.

Thu, 30 Jul 2009 07:22:40 GMT

The one where Fisher whoops the shit out of Jackie's ass. I have seen this one like 8 times.

Feels like I am always running out of time. Theres so much I want to do. Well, 1/3 of it is do, the other two thirds is buy. Theres alot of shit I wanna buy.

I'd like to think Im a girl's girl, but I swear sometimes I carry myself more like an old crazy cat lady.......sigh

Still fucked up that MJ is gone. I want Neverland to be like Graceland, as tacky and gaudy as that shit sounds, fuck it, I wanna go and shit. With my Visor, fanny pack, and bored ass grandkids in tow and everything.

People are so fucked up, building an amusement park in your house = kiddy diddler? You know youve heard this. People really treat it as exhibit A or some shit. God It makes me want to go on a face-breaking melee when I hear this. If you were the most untouchable being on the planet, with serious cash to burn for the rest of your life, like YOU wouldnt buy ridiculous over-the-top shit? Fuck I know I would. I would probably try to genetically engineer a Unicorn or something. God I cant stand haters.

A PRAYER FOR THE HATERS

God grant me the Serenity
to hold back the things I cannot restrain;
balls to own the shit I DO say;
and pity for those who are bitter as hell.

Amen

Lady Gaga = Whatever ho

Mon, 06 Jul 2009 21:38:26 GMT

I dont know why this chick insists on not wearing any pants, I mean it is a "look" but her hips and thighs arent THAT cute, not anyone can get away with it just cause they are not a fatty. She looks more like an aerobics instructor from the future.

Why do Ultimecia's tits gotta be so big

Tue, 30 Jun 2009 20:09:51 GMT

Final Fantasy 8 = Done.

My mongoloid brain wasnt able to fully process it at 12, so I replayed it and while it is nice to have some things be a little more clear, its still a stupid vague mess at the most inappropriate times.
On one hand I am really glad I started it up and I had alot of fun with it, on the other hand it is a fist looking for the pain bounty that is Squaresoft's face. ugh. I love the characters sooooo much and the music,colors,pre-renders, just all fit together so perfectly. Then the story has to be bungled up to all hell for no reason!!

FINAL FANTASY 8 NAME LIST
Squall	Jangles
Rinoa	Tinker

Quezacotl	STICKY
Shiva	BUCKWHEAT
Ifrit	COCO
Siren	BAMAJAMA
Brothers	MEATFIGHT
Diablos	TUBS
Carbuncle	TOOTIE
Leviathan	DEMAPPLES
Pandamona	SLUGGO
Cerubus	POPOBLO
Alexander	JUICY G
Doomtrain	ERIC
Bahamut	KISSUMS
Jumbo Cactuar	SIR DONGY
Tonberry	CORNFOLK
Eden	BJ QUEEN

Even though Im hella mad, the final form of Ultimecia always gives me chills. That is executed in such a way it takes my breath away and it genuinely manages to spark a feeling of confusion, fear and oddly enough, courage. Not saying the whole battle Im on the verge of a breakdown or nothing, but to to really feel that gravity for a moment is really something.

Gone Too Soon...

Fri, 26 Jun 2009 17:57:11 GMT

I cant believe this is happening, I cant believe from these moments onward we will be living in a world that is without Michael Jackson, I cant find the words...My senses and grasp on reality are failing me, as if to not want me to find them. I have been crying my face off, since realizing that someone was not just pulling my leg about this, and a little scared- his music is a huge pillar in my life, along with knowing the kind and talented soul behind it all is always out there understanding what it means to have this connection to him.
His music has saved me, much like how it has saved him from the fucked up things on this planet.
Sometimes I feel like this world was never prepared for someone as beautiful as you. I am eternally grateful for every moment you spent spreading happiness in your life Michael. Im sending out a major love, and this is my message to you. Youre just another part of me~

1958-2009

Tangy Twister Mike&Ikes are like a Blow party for your tastebuds

Fri, 22 May 2009 15:50:12 GMT

I cant believe dacshunds where used for hunting badgers. These dogs are ridiculous cute jokes.

Ugh i hate it when I get mad. I mean nobody is supposed to like such an abraisive emotion, duh, but when I do get upset it feels like Im the only one who gets that way and Ill just "cool down" till Im not "depressed" no more. I hate being left alone to marinate in resentment. I mean what the fuck, I wonder if I am a feminist sometimes. Im not sure what it means, but I think the main goal is equality regardless of you being a housewife or a stripper or a power lesbian , and Im fine with that. I consider adopting it because its the rude awakening some men need.

Im get tired of playing this fucked up role to whoever isnt happy with what they get. Womans place is to be charming, nurturing and the more virginal mantra you give off the more disirable you are in this society. Its like if Im not smiling and being on engaging conversive "Cosmic Titty" its like "whats wrong with you" and you know what? I dont give a shit about indulging you sometimes.
Its either be all smiles or be in a "bad mood" that Ill get past eventually, because Its amazing how a male thinks he can actually get down to trying to control a womans emotions because in their heads its like "girls arent supposed to be like that" because if a girl really isnt "she must be a bitch" or defective

I mean seriously what the fuck. I know Im stubborn sometimes, but my emotions are not an ailment that ill "eventually" get through.

Cribs is on. Home Theatres are so UGLY. I am not having one in my home no way. They are gaudy tacky windowless rooms with stupid furniture and why they have a fixture in Affluent homes is beyond me. Id rather put my money in making my bed the comfiest Movie watching station. Seriously. The only thing I can imagine being sick is the sound system in a sealed room like that but other than that they look out of place. If you have theatre room that you cared about, its probably what I mentioned, Gaudy Tacky and over the top, congratulations you should just build a P.F. Changs in your House if you like Chinese food so much ( realtalk tho thier hot & sour soup owns). If you just have a theatre room to have one chances are its a lame room with no windows with awkward couches in it with a projector. Hate. so much hate.

Is my house going to be Gaudy and Tacky? yes. Will it have a theatre room? No. Arboretum? maybe. Indoor River? I hope so.
Takeshi Amano Inspired Aquarium? Yes. Kitty Condos?Plenty. Grand Piano made out of flourescent pink acrylic? We'll talk about it....
Every Contemporary Chandelier from the Lighting Stores you see on the way driving but never had a reason to go in and they are full of all those sparkley hanging Light Fixtures? You bet. Theatre Room? No.

I used my boyfreinds beard trimmer on my lower girl hair.. LIKE A HOT KNIFE THRU BUTTER. oommggg TMI but its true. He refused to touch it despite the grizzly adam/santa/caveman thing he had going so I used it and he is missing out bigtime. mineminemine all minee noww.

A LIST OF THINGS THAT OWN AS OF MAY 2009

Coupons
Colored Mirror Acrylic
Flowering Bonsai
Cooler Ranch Doritos
Not having inner thigh jiggle
Will Cotton
Shiba Inu
The Cheese samples at Whole foods
Real Housewives Series
Hamburgers and hotdogs too I want to have a Barbeque
Getting paid
Tufted Upholstery
Weaves
Takeshi Amano
Magikarp
Plastic Surgery
Sequins
Nas- Hero
Capcom
Vintage Typography

THROW UNDER THE BUS

Thu, 16 Apr 2009 16:37:51 GMT

Ever heard that saying?
I have and I think its fucking bullshit. I looked it up on urban dictionary just because it bothers me so much.

	Throw under the bus	277 up, 18 down
	to sacrifice some other person, usually one who is undeserving or at least vulnerable, to make personal gain.

funny, with me It wasnt the case. I think i can be harsh sometimes, so I think thats why this pisses me off, because me being honest counts as "throwing someone under the bus" at times.

Example: My sister and her Ex Boyfriend are done and moved on. Like a year moved on. My mother and I are discussing some bad points about the relationship, and how my sisters personality changed with it at times. Flash foward Im talking to my sister and we are having the same discussion, and I let her know about the conversation with our mother, sister is not pleased I discussed bad points about her with mother. and so she says "Well throwing me under the bus isnt cool".

WHAT! I quickly countered by saying how its crap that my mom also noticed and agreed with, so its not like im shittalking you. But seriously, You dont like what other people may have to say so you cry foul like that?

Example: Boyfriend's sister calls me a whore and slut and just overall doesnt like me despite me being nice to her when i met her. Turns out his mother blabbed some stuff about me that was said in confidence. ok cool. Im pretty upset with the Boyfriend and pretty disgusted and offended by the behaviour the mother enables from her dillusional daughter. Boyfriend is feeling like his hands are tied because Im upset at the other two, so he just says for his mother "Well, what do you expect her to do, Throw her under the bus?"

Cool, me being honest about how I feel being thrown under the 18-wheeler with spikes in it means Im trying to sabotage thier family. Whatever lady, just own up to the fact that how your kids behave is a direct reflection of your character, and if your daughter carries herself like a retarded coked up harpy over stuff you told her, your hands dont exactly look clean.

If the meaning of this phrase is indeed that machiavellian, why the fuck am I having to defend or retract my honesty? Especially when I have nothing to "gain" and Im not gossiping or talking out of my ass.
Its a phrase I have no patience for because when I hear it come out of someones mouth, its usually because someone DID do something.

Fuck that stupid Kardashian show is what provoked this entry. Kris bailed on plans she made with the old one, to peel bitch's Kim grapes or whatever, but Old Yeller was upset and called Kim in the middle of what they were doing, so Kim was saying what was happening and Kris was just like WHAAAT YOU CANT THROW ME UNDER THE BUSSSS!!~!~whatEVER biiiitch you still in the wrooonnggg

Maybe I just lack compassion or a filter?

I want a sailor outfit so bad. Not like a costume or sexy sailor, but an outfit like how we all had as little kids. I love sailor outfits!! ;o;!!
Or a short sleeve Lolita-ish blouse with a cute standing collar, but without the rest of it being too frilly.

My job interview went well, so Im going in tomorrow! Yep, tomorrow marks my return to barkin and poopin mayhem~~

I cant wait to have a paycheck again, I want to get into sculpture, casting resin jewelery, ableton, and some modeling. I love dogs sooooo much, but I know I long for some kind of recognition or success in another craft, and not acting on it is killing me!

reading about Veena and her chiptune and circuit bending, aaarghh I gotta get my ass in gear too!!

Kevin I still owe you money for the Pod site! How is that working out by the way?

chu chu rocketss

Tue, 14 Apr 2009 00:07:17 GMT

bitch bitch fucky fuck

UGH! So I walked into 2 places that have a GREAT chance of employing me, the second place turns out to be really friendly and Im prolly gonna apply but I gotta write a resume and email it. I hate "for real" writing so much. I just fell totally out of touch, and even though Im complimented on being well spoken sometimes, I cant write for shit, I always feel like the biggest fag reading my own work. I mean, I can do it, but man its such a beating for me :<

Bleh I got a car and laser hair removal on my yumyum and armpits.

What else is new? Lost sucks. wait no that is not new, Lost has been sucking for a long time this is very old and well established information. Its true, its been terrible, and Its television that ridiculous people watch to feel smart. It is the Evangelion of America.

The only television I look foward to nowadays is stupid reality shows and CNBC documentaries. I remember a negative outcry against reality TV when it was spreading after Survivor and shit really took off, and while it IS pure garbage 9 out of 10 times, I dont know, I guess I appreciate the lack of professional showbiz hollywood protocols. Its just humans being retards, and even when you watch it you learn something about human behaviour. I like taking something from what I choose to watch, and fiction doesnt really do that too much for me

I think maybe another reason I dont really get into too much fiction, is because alot of shows revolve around familiar relationships, and me being a little estranged myself and having a weird home life of my own I cant really take too much from it. Part of the reason I like Sex and the City is because its 4 grown ass women that all conflict each other but its very straight to the point about how they meet new people. Its always kind of fresh even though it gets alot of shit for being kind of slutty, but I like it. It doesnt rely on continous bickering and conflicts for it to be funny, or eye-opening heart to hearts to be insightful, or dramatic I NEED YOU NOW *MAKEOUT* to have sexual tension. It has a little of each, but its so good, its the same tiny primary 4, but with all the secondary and teritary characters rotating around it doesnt go stale.

Laser hair removal hurts on tender anus skin FUCK! The laser looks like pikachu's down+special move in Smash Brothers 1 and probably feels like it. OOWW.

I got a car. I drive now. WOOOOOP. man I really dont want to write a resume DAMMNIT. Its time to look for resume templates. I am such a SCRUB LORD.

UGH.

DELANEY! Chad Kultgen, the author of "The Average American Male" wrote a second book called "The Lie" and its like 400+ pages and I flew through that bitch in one night. I was kind of disapointed, but I cant deny I was glued and was addicted to keep turning the pages.

Take his first book and warp it into something so convulted and messed up and there you go. This a REALLY FUCKED UP STORY.It also takes place in Dallas, and so that was pretty cool

It was dissapointing because take all the sex scenes from the first book, and LITERALLY put one in every 3rd chapter. Since it revolves around SMU students, theres alot of college and frat/sorority talk that didnt really click that well with me, but thats just me~

Even though I do like Kultgen's twisted indulgent way of writing, something about this book came off a just one bitter fucking author pumping out pages pissed off at his ex. I would recommend "The Lie" and I am going to eat up his future books, but if he keeps this borderline mysoginist streak going... ehhh my feelings for him as a talented writer will have to be reconsidered.

Little People Big World is a tolerable show and all, but FUCK I hate the soundtrack. It all sounds like Feivel goes West shit.

ATTN: POUNCE KITTI

Mon, 16 Feb 2009 01:11:23 GMT

Uh I left my lube in ur car !!*o*!!!~

and the Handcuffs BROKE!!! some BUNK shit right there and its not like we put any effort either so I hope the receipt is with my lube :(!!!

HOPE YOU ARE ENJOYING YOUR NIPPONGO PUDDING

Just filling the extremely innapropriate and irrational Livejournal entry quota

Sat, 14 Feb 2009 03:32:13 GMT

If something happened to Michael Jackson

I dont know what I would do with myself

F:\ TRILLAS IPOD

Wed, 04 Feb 2009 01:07:03 GMT

A picture is worth 1000 words...

In this case I only need one:

~LOL~

hahaha yesss

Sun, 18 Jan 2009 01:11:42 GMT

Independence Day is on TV right now. I will never get tired of this terrible movie

what a serious piece of shit

welcome to erf

brace yourself for a pride obliterating bitchslap

Fri, 16 Jan 2009 20:22:48 GMT

I passed my permit test, so now Im ready to walk in and take the driving test. Yeah Im finally stepping up to the challenge and Im gonna drive.
Akina downhill champion in the making.
right here.
take it in bitches TAKE IT ALL IN

Im actually watching the damn car channel, Speed Network or whatever and theres a show about lowriders. Ugh i need a lowrider right now or I will lose my shit I am not joking around I REQUIRE A CAR THAT LOOKS LIKE A GANGSTER LOLLIPOP.

The holidays were crap. Didnt care didnt want them whatever.. Thats the holidays! Lol!! I turn 22 in 4 days hooray -__-

One question I cant cope with lately is "What do you want to do vanessa". Like you know, with my life blahblah.
Everytime Im faced with that question I feel like turtling or dying or screaming or crunching some bitch in the face.

Im reminded of the song from Party Monster- "Money.Success.Fame.Glamour" Do I want all four? sure, who doesnt they are nice things to want who cares.
But whenever someone asks me what I want to do I feel inclined to give a one word answer like money/fame/glam/etcetc, you know just stop the topic at just a one word respose, not "I want to be an Interior Designer!" or "Open a Boutique and be a hairdresser" or something like that. I want to be vague. vaguevaguevague.

Being Vague pays cause you know what infuriates me with the fucking question of WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO VANESSA?
I'll say "I want to be an entrepeneur" (true) and its never support, because the first thing the inquisitors ALWAYS do is tell me what Im doing wrong-
"Well you will never be able be that if you keep doing/dont do...." and they mean well but god damn talk about not letting a bitch work.
Like they really think I dont have a grip on how things get done in this world. ugh. are. you. serious.
Seriously Doubt and concern are like 2 things I get from everyone close to me and Its driven me to the point of being just bein secretive and vague.
I really dont want people knowing my life (Okay maybe you can this is a damn blog) and Im not going to go as far as to say WAH NOBODY SUPPORTS ME but I am officially over dealing with the looks and the incredulous recoil shit when I talk to people. done.

I dunno i guess being underestimated isnt a terrible thing, because thats what Im faced with alot, when actually Im pretty driven and want to learn alot of new things and be able to help people. I just gotta take baby steps I guess. I just hate using the word "underestimate" with me because the word reminds me of conquering and war and stupid Shonen anime.
But eh, its also the same words Sun Tzu uses regardless so it cant be helped.

here is a list of shit I want in my life

-Japanese or British Visa
-A pair of Dobermans with rad names like Rosco/DeSoto or Zeus/Apollo
-Cooking ability !_!
-house with space to put up Art
-Michael Jackson Art lol
-Taikos Taikos Taikos
-Kids that arent total fuckups. I can probably deal with raising a smartmouth or maybe a even a shithead, but not a fuckup.
-A cool belt buckle
-An Italian car

watched a barclay premier game. Random. I didnt know i could find british football games on cable. cool. wooopwoop.

I should probably get a boob job. Im laying down and typing with a laptop and my chest is being used as a dish for valentines conversation hearts.
I just dumped em out on myself, givin no fucks. Imagine what a bigger chest could hold. Probably a whole bag of kraft marshmallows.

I got a new email address PONYPUFF@KITTYMAIL.COM look at that shit. soak it up. yummmmmyyyy. u jellis.

some random person on facebook uploaded a hella old pic from 4 years ago ;o;! Its my sister, cousin, my corgiporgi Percy, Lance and MEEE~

LJ-Cut Time~ WOOP

Look at him. GOT HIS GAME LOCKED. All three of us AND THE DOG. Im kind of surprised how old and fat Percy looks, but he was being fed this stuff called Purina Moist'n Meaty CHEESEBURGER flavor... and it wasnt a big deal because I mean, come on, why would Purina go out of thier way to make fattyfatfuckfatham dog food?
It wasnt until a vet mentioned how its like McDonald's for dogs that we changed his diet *___*;; whooooopss lol! Oh well he loved it. AINT NOTHING WRONG
WITH A FAT HAPPY CORGI*

This picture is kind of special because it was kind of the last time I saw some friends before the stupid exodus. I remember having a talk with Wanpa explaining my feelings on the whole situation, kensou drinking so much he died (kind of lol), Grinding on Sam Savell like a rank ho etcetc.
Man fuck the exodus. No fun at all. I dont like to be too nostalgic or stuck in the past, but yeah I made mistake that lasted way too long and I really missed out on my drunk internet friends doing drunk internet things. I probably sound like a broken record on the topic but ugh whatever.
Now Im turning 22 and everyones in different places. Well if Im gonna be mopey about the past Im going to give it a soundtrack!

yeah this song is still fresh and if you dont think so then you need help if you cant get help at charter please get help somewhere.

Lately Ive been plagued with a real Moral dilemma.... Hoping people do not succeed. Its wrong on every level, and its sooo not christian to think that way,
and it just makes me look as nasty as it makes me feel. I guess Ive met people who dont seem to want success because its something they love doing, but its more of a desire/desperation for a certain lifestyle.

Its a bad position for me to be in, because it makes me out to be some kind of judge " oh this person is only in it for ___" , but what if... Im not totally wrong?

Its kind of like Lou Pearlman or Joe Francis, like they achieved alooooot of monetary sucess and fame, but underneath they were kind of crooked/shitty infantile people.
I think where your heart lies is something as important as anything else, and I dont really have patience for people who exhibit obvious inadequacy/greed issues when it comes to who they want to be one day.

*just make sure they dont get back or joint problems ;n;

No one wants to be defeated

Tue, 09 Dec 2008 19:27:07 GMT

so I got me some new icons and i wanna use them but I have to make content to post about fuckk

so much work you people demand from me.

I love Michael Jackson. Okay I can scratch that off the list, got that taken care of. whoopwhoop.

I want a dog. I thought i was a cat person, but recently my baby kitty Bruce has grown into an ASSHOLE!!! So Im thinking of adopting a sweetheart older cuddly cat or dog. Problem is when I say dog I also say dumb shit like wanting a Shiba Inu. Who are like the cats of the dog world, and may or may not want to cuddle at all either >:I

I remember the last few months of my Japan trip, I actually looked into buying and exporting a dog. The process is relatively cheap honestly~ About 800 bucks plus the cost of the dog. I remember looking up Dachsunds and Shibas, because Japanese Doxies are in a class of their own, and cause well, duh, where else is a better place than Japan to get a Shiba?
Super cute and the temperments of japanese dogs are great, they are very mellowed out.

Ive been playing Final Fantasy 8 again. Im on the second Disc. Talked shit to Odin and now Im his pimp. What a good game. Squall is fine no doubt. Fluffy trim jackets are the way to my heart <3

I miss cosplay even though I never really cared about it. I guess i used to hang out with alot of people that ROLLED DEEP with it, so i know how it can be exciting if thats your thing. Maybe I'll do a Beatmania character.
heh I cant believe theres a Beatmania Song named "Vanessa"... the best part is that its that cheesy Castlevania epic gothic shit. Like Sphere or V and all that. I love it. Its secretly what I totally wanted a song named Vanessa to be~~

And its a hyper secret song thats super hard! It feeds my ego way too much, and its the one song I'll learn to do on doubles one day at an arcade in Shinjuku. Too bad I can only pinky-scratch drunk. That is unfortunatley the only talent I have while drunk. Being able to pinky-scratch. sigh. no love.

Food Network's on. Two things I find sexy: Fluffy Jackets as stated earlier; and Chefs. Like I understand a guy being passionate about his music, or acting, or some kind of philanthropic cause, science, WHATEVER~ But about food? augh. I dont know why. I love the coked out bipolar messes that are chefs.

The new youngin' girl in the mIRC chat is convinced that Im only treated a certain way because of my looks....?....Hold up!! what!?
I think alot of it is insecurity on her part, shes not a bitch about it or anything, she just kind of mentions sadly or something.. i dont know. Id like to think my friends of like 4+ years keep me around for more than my looks. And uh, Im pretty plain. I aint ugly, but Im not exactly owning people in the eyes either. I got a nose job and my hair is chemically straightened. I have my own issues with how I look obviously. I just kind of told her looks dont really matter, the chicks that have stuck around in this friend circle just stand the test of whackness. I think she maybe worrying to much.

You can be hot and take great pictures and throw the feircest innuendo around, and have bros wrapped around your finger, thinking YOUR SHIT DOESNT STINK, but that smell, you know, the one of absolutley no class? rest assured that it is indeed, STANK!!
Being cute gets you far,but you eventually reach that fork where either youre real or your shit collapses in on itself and everyone ~~saw~~sees it.
So a lesson to the aspiring girls on the internet?
First impressions are everything, and once you put yourself out there in a certain way it is HARD to go back, and you wind up bitter and desperate and maybe,just maybe reading this LJ thinking, "Damn, In the end, Vanessies got her shit LOCKED. Why didnt I just quit being such a trifling skank and concentrate on not being a strung out wastoid slut? Next time Ill know better than to walk in with a vendetta against someone that doesnt care about being a total Cockmancer"

btw!! last night Gossip's Girl was throwed..

XOXO
You know you love me~

Things arent really the same around here

Sat, 15 Nov 2008 04:56:18 GMT

another day another dollar another hater

<----Hater
I cant believe so many people like the track "dire dire docks" from Super Mario 64. It is hideous. The Pirahna plant lullaby owns, the castle theme owns and the main theme owns. The rest is not so much own, but im going to be mature and accept it is the way it is, and be the bigger person here.

SINCE MY LAST ENTRY WASNT GOOD ENOUGH FOR RYAN KIM UUGGHH GODDDDD 9n9 (i kid i kid)
Im gonna tryn'shit now. I could just be a punkbitch and do a survey but no, so here is stuff that sits around in my head cause im for real

Ive decided that I will be married at the Isla Nublar off of Costa RicaSHUTUP DONT TELL ME I CANT

My favorite Nintendo character used to be Yoshi before I realized that Bowser is pretty rad. I also like the dog from tetris attack, Chain Chomps and Bullet Bill.

Im going to try sleeping in a pile of money sometime this week. I have enough to throw it around and have a lol with it, but im going to go the extra mile anyways because IM A GO GETTER.

(Also, while Im at it, Im going to practice my "making it rain", its all in the angle of the wrist and palm)

I really dont hate Planet Zero, just the owner who was a jerk and banned on the forum he trolled on anyways. In fact I have a crush on a girl who goes there 9__9;; Maybe this is the only reason I like Planet Zero. I hope prop 8 gets overturned!!

My favorite Ninja Turtle is Raphael. I like his fierce ass accent out of nowhere and I would let him slap me around with his fork thingies.

My favorite Dinosaur is a Triceratops, but deep down inside, I know I like raptors more :(

I got a nose job exactly one month ago! Vanity owns.

My favorite feature on a guys face is eyebrows, and lips. My favorite feature on my face are my eyebrows, but I do not like my mouth. It looks DUMPY. I like looking at Logans main Myspace picture and admiring his lips, even if it is a stupid pose. They look like cute puffy Slowpokes~

thats right POKEMON.

YEEAUUHH. <3

Since im on the topic of body parts, Im going to direct some attention towards my breasts. I have a love-hate relationship with them. They feel big, and they move kind of big, but do not look like it. Im kind of pissed about this. Im a C cup and dont even get to reap any of the rewards! What can I do the days I feel like looking skanky? nothing. Its about options people, options.

Yaoi Owns.

John McCain was a FOX when he was young.

Im in Houston and still havent eaten Wings n Things! ;o;

RAAANDUMMMB

Sun, 09 Nov 2008 21:34:47 GMT

A list of people I would like to meet.

In all seriousness.

¤ Michael Jackson
¤ Hugh Hefner
¤ Barack Obama
¤ Big Bird
¤ Bill Clinton
¤ Tiffany Patterson aka. New York
¤ Tomoyasu Hotei
¤ Don Bluth
¤ Mo'Nique
¤ Michael Chrichton (DUMBASS HAD TO GO AND DIE)
¤ Captain Jack (THIS ONE TOO)

and now three quotes that have stuck with me more than the average quote should have

"When you point your finger three more are pointing back at you"

"Qualities you dislike in others are qualities you find inside yourself"

"A woman who is convinced that she deserves to accept only the best challenges herself to give the best.Then she is living phenomenally."

teehee giggle

Sat, 24 May 2008 03:27:09 GMT

Yesterday I was complimented as being "whip smart" and i would be happier if it wasnt used to describe Ellen Paiges Character in the Movie Juno, who I find very very very annoying.

I kind of want to read Barefoot Gen. Its about the big shitty day in Hiroshima, Ive never really been into that disaster, I just kind of figured too much politics because of each nationality willing to jump at "victim" status to this day. Anyways, I saw a clip of the anime and i was moved to tears, but Japanese style way of presenting some kind of drama or harrowing story is:

Dont worry about the plot, or the way real people behave, just make sure to overact and show people crying. WHEN PEOPLE CRY IT MEANS ITS TOUCHING AND GOOD TELEVISION.

So now Im always weary about getting into any japanese penned stories or shows or anything because its really inundated with that kind of overdramatic stuff.

Granted, the Melting of 100,000 civilians in one night is not something you take lightly, and of course people are gonna hella cry, but, I cant help it I want to make sure Im reading the best account of what happened there.

Anyhow i have a pigshit disgusting roomate who asked to borrow money. Turns out later it WAS FOR PACHINKO. It was paid back one day late. phew. I actually gagged when I took a noseful of her breath when she was asking me. I hate reliving that moment so much. so much.

SHIT THAT NEEDS TO BE TAKEN CARE OF

*Send a box or 2 home: maybe under ￥1万
*Take care of cleaning up my Desktop. External hardrive another ￥1万?
*HAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIR CAAAAAAAREEE ￥2万 (Im not digging this one so much)

I kind of regret dying my hair black. I want to go up a shade but I have no idea what the best way is. I heard this Loreal "colorzap" product is okay, but i need to condition the living fuck out of my hair for week if any form of bleach is going to hang out near my head. I havent dyed it for over a year, i dont know if this is over kill. buh. Maybe i should just stay dark and enjoy it? But I want to move to a pretty Chocolate labrador color 9v9;

Im moving to LA because its the only ticket i can afford at 720 bucks. Fuel Surcharges are unbelievable. Once i get there im gonna hang out for a week or 2 and then head back to Texas or something, I dunno. Im rad and bored. Ryan Kim Im looking at you. If you drive there next time you go and im there, pleeeez let me roadtrip back with u~ but if you fly in like a sane person, I guess ill see you at AI or something!~

Looking back I really kind of wished I moved to LA instead of Tokyo. I mean, which ever way you lay it out, to my 18 year old butt, both cities were wildly out of my league. It wouldnt of mattered. I just remember being 16 or 17 and visiting and having ALOT of fun. I remember thinking "I dont think Id ever want to live here, or if i could, but I bet this is a really fun place to be a native to" Like, thats the only way to have that city. Be raised in it or just take it like a bitch. I mean had i done that at that age, maybe I would be pretty swingin with it! but I dont know. Im kind of scared shitless and I dont have a car, but whatever. I have enough padding to try out stupid things like this.

I need to stop being so fucking weird. I really think i may have a chemical imbalance. Im reading "The Game" by Neil Strauss. Its required reading...if youre a girl.

I hate to sound like a feminazi, but trust me on this one. Its a good look into how guys think we tick, and the guy makes pretty good points, but a majority of them are downright ridiculous. Like if you see a magic trick at a bar the guy is proving his worth to you and makes you want to say yes to fuck him lol. Either way ladies "knowing" the game is an excellent way to stay ahead of the game.

AND KNOWING IS HALF THE BATTLE

Mann ive met 2 finnish boys and they are sweethearts. What gives. Did you know the City of Sendai uses Finland's healthcare system. I met the guy who implimented that system to japan and he was like hanz and franz kind of fruity cause of his hair and happy smile but it was cool.

Also I learned Reuters is pronounced. ROY-ters. Not ROO-ters. yep. Educatiooonn~

god what else. ugh. Whip Smart. Heehee.